God is Preparing a Way
This phrase has been jumping out at me a lot over the last week or so. Either people have randomly spoken it to me during conversation or I’ve seen it written or read it in my bible. God is definitely trying to tell me something here. I do not believe in coincidences. Everything has meaning and purpose and phrases like, “Rest in God’s strength, Trust in Him, He’s gotten us through worse.” All of my world seems to be yelling at me to turn from my fears or my anxieties and turn towards Christ and refocus on His power and His strength. Stop dwelling in a pit of my own inability and lean on God’s ability to see my hopes and dreams into fruition. He is working on my behalf even now, as I pound out these keys on my laptop trying desperately to concentrate over the chaos and rumpus dancing out from the playroom where my husband is entertaining our children for a few minutes before we all head up to bed.
He orchestrated my day and evening, so that I could have these 20minutes of peace and alone time. Time for me to reflect and to reach out to the buzzing internet realm who have shown up to read and relate and connect. These moments are few and fleeting when you are raising a family, working, contemplating going back to school, working towards a fitness goal, trying to make time with your spouse, and ya know, trying to shower and look somewhat appealing to the world. I know you all understand this mess way too much. You. are. not. alone.
So I just want to take a moment in the middle of my own chaos, to praise and thank God for everything He has orchestrated in my life to get me to where I am today. All the failures, all the regrets, all the lost time, lost sleep, and trials of faith. I would not be the same women I am before you. I would not understand the world and the broken people in it. From a perfect pedestal, we can look down on others around us and judge their bad choices or their lifestyles decisions, saying things like, “I would never do that! My kids will never act that way! What kind of person would do such a thing.” Until it’s you under the social microscope. Until the devil holds you down in your own darkness and out of all the lies he buries you in, you make a choice that you “never thought you would.” And then you can see. Finally, your eyes are open to the world and its ugliness. I truly believe that without pain and suffering, we can never truly know Jesus --Know what he suffered on that cross and understand the weight and depth of his mercy and forgiveness. So thank God for your suffering as well as your joy. He’s working that pain into cobblestones and creating a pathway for you to righteousness. All He asks is for us to TRUST Him. “Come, take my hand, walk to me, cross through the river, walk upon the water.”
No more waiting until Monday. Or until I have more time. Or until all the details magically fit together. Now is the time to thrive and be the person God calls me to be. I am stepping up to the plate, God. I hear you calling, and I am ready. I've already prepped my mornings with holy armor and end my days with prayer. I hope to include you and hand over all aspects of my day to day, specifically that which does not serve either of us. Over the next 4 months, as I near closer to the new year, I pray you aid me in remaining steadfast to my goals and to my diet plan, so that I can be a woman of my word and hold this commitment to myself precious.
Thank you God for this beautiful thing called, Life. Thank you for an able body to lift, move, run, swim, climb, and rest. Thank you for my children that keep me on my able feet and help me see the world through innocent eyes. Thank you for a loving husband, who may not know you like I do yet, but cares for me and your people more than himself. Thank you for a family that despite its trials and differences, always chooses each other again and again --always says, “I love you,” before walking out the door. Thank you for a home that is enough, food that is enough, and financial stability. Thank you for our friends and our church who support, encourage, and guide us in pursuit of your never ending joy. You are so awesome, God! So powerful and so merciful. So wonderful and dear you are to me.
Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.